I’ve read a lot of these in the past. I think they’re important to avoid future problems or controversy later in the relationship. Even before Rory and I were engaged, we’ve been pretty good at communicating. This is mostly in the last couple of years, in the beginning we were happy to just float along and see where we ended up. As our relationship became more long term, and we moved in together, we started to have “talks”. We’d often go out on walks together and start chatting about our future.
From early on, we knew that we’d want to buy a house first before having kids. Children are great, as a daycare teacher, I love babies and children in general, but they’re also expensive. Owning a house is also expensive, but is more of a priority for us at the moment, since we’re still in our mid-twenties. Kids can come after. We also knew that we would only want two kids at max. Funnily enough, from a few years ago, we talked about marriage as a given. We loved each other, we had plans for the future, we figured it was gonna happen. Still didn’t stop me from being floored and bursting into happy tears when he asked me.
Before getting married, our officiant sent us some questions that he encouraged us to talk about. He didn’t need to hear this conversation, it was a tool for us, to open up dialogues of conversation we hadn’t thought of before. It covered topics about Communication, Family and In laws, Sexuality, Work, Finance, Spirituality and a lot of others. It was an extensive list. Rory and I went through this list over a period of months. While we didn’t get to every single question, we did talk more openly about subjects that hadn’t really been discussed as much before. For those who are interested, I’ll post a couple of questions from each subject below.