This post is going to be a little different, and possibly more rambly than my other posts. So if you’re ready for a long read, let’s get into it.
When people describe me (or my blog), the word positive comes out a lot. I can’t deny it. I’m a positive person, an eternal optimist, and always looking on the bright side. I even have a certificate from my work’s latest Christmas party to prove it.
One day, while I was lost in my thoughts, I started trying to dissect my way of thinking. About why I always assume things will be okay, and have a positive outlook. This led to thinking about nature vs nurture. I had a normal, happy childhood. My parents are still together after almost 30 years, and I get along with my siblings really well. We’re a fairly close-knit family. I had a small group of friends growing up, and never really lost any friendships due to anything bad. Just growing apart. I was encouraged and loved, and was fairly successful at things I set my mind too. All of these add up to one positive Angela.
It wasn’t till the last year of high school and uni where I started getting more anxious thoughts. I think all teenagers have to go through this. No matter how happy and well-adjusted you are. Some will get it worse, but it is something you get through. The first time I failed a test, I was gobsmacked. I always did well in school, and this threw me. After some crying, I pulled it together and redid the test. This time I passed. Not a great grade, but it was a pass.
In university, the workload was a lot more intense than high school. Giant essays, exams, group assignments, and all that were piled into smaller amounts of time. Rather than having a year to focus on the subject, you had a few months.
I remember once being in town, and I was thinking about assignments coming up. My vision started getting fuzzy and black around the edges. Tunnel vision pretty much. This faded in and out, along with what I was hearing. I started blinking lots to try get rid of what was going on. For the next 30 seconds or so, everything would feel ‘off’. I was looking around, but it would take a second for my eyes to focus and adjust on what I was seeing. Like what I was seeing didn’t feel ‘real’. Then, suddenly everything would snap back to normal. Anyone ever experience something like that? This happened a few more times during uni and afterwards. I haven’t had it happen in a few years though. But it always freaked me out. I considered it to be a very mild version of a panic attack.
In the end though, I was able to push through my worries, keep studying, hanging out with loved ones, and come out with fairly good grades. Then came jobs.
My first full time job was the worst one I’ve ever had. Helping arrange student loans via a helpline. Some people are rude to your face, but so many people are rude over the phone. It’s the actual worst. It was during this job that I started developing a different mentality. I stopped caring. After enough people shouting at you, calling you names, threatening to talk to the ‘media’, or just swearing at you, you stop caring. Which sucks, as I wanted to help people out. But it wore me down, and after a while, I was just another person who hated their job. It’s probably the only time I completely lost my positive outlook. I was grumpy, surly, and then sad. So I began looking for another job, eventually something came up, and I practically ran out the door. Soon enough, my positive mindset crept back in.
After some time back at university, studying something I was excited about, I scored a job at a daycare in town. My current job, which I’ve now had for almost three years. I’ve had many parents say “I don’t know how you do this job”. Handling nine babies and toddlers on a daily basis, 5 days a week. For the most part, it’s fun! Sometimes it can get a little crazy. But I’ve been in this job long enough, and had enough experience, that I can handle anything and everything these tiny children try to throw at me. I also have the support of a great team and manager. I feel like I’m in the job I’ve always meant to be in. Sure I have days where I feel tired, and I don’t want to go to work. But I’m honestly so happy in my job.
What’s the point to all of these rambles? I’m honestly not sure. I just wanted to give an insight to how I currently think. So, how does one keep a positive mindset?
Is it just natural for some people to be more positive than others? Or do you have to build up and nurture that mindset? For me, I feel like it was a bit of a both. To end this very long post, here are some things to give your optimism a boost.
- Learn from experience
- Know that you can get through this, day by day, minute by minute, you’ll get through it
- Keep a gratitude journal
- List things that make you happy
- Search up cute and inspiring quotes on Pinterest
- Go outside and take a deep breath of fresh air
Nothing groundbreaking here. But all these things do help, must be why everyone recommends them right? You just need to figure out what’s a happy trigger for yourself.
What about you guys? Are you an optimist, or more of a realist? Somewhere in between? I’m curious.
Angela.
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lifeofangela 